Thanksgiving is a time for good food, friends and family. A time for giving thanks. I shared the day with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and my brother in the peaceful country setting of my grandparent's home; until...
Moments after everyone had gathered in the dining room, shutgun blasts were echoing in the background. In the city, this may have been alarming, however, out in the serenity of the countryside, we all chalked it up to holiday hunting or target practice. As the boom of the gun fire continued, the giggles turned to "Geees"s and "That sounds kind of close!"
My grandparents then engaged in their typical turkey-slicing tiff. "Where is the spoon?!" The gravy spoon was missing and causing quite a stir. Apparently, it had submerged itself in the hot gravy. As grandpa tried to fish it out, his paper-towel potholder caught fire!!! With each panicked attempt to extinguish it, the flames became more intense. Okay, so we'll call the cops and the fire department!
After the smoke and excitement settled, we all sat down to enjoy our feast. As I opened my napkin, something rather large and alien like was scurrying about inside of my napkin.
"Oh my God!" I shrieked.
In light of the gunshots and potential four-alarm fire, forks dropped and attention fell upon my hornet in the napkin. Grandpa came to the rescue and the hornet went to meet Jesus after meeting the bottom of his shoe. Bugs don't alarm me, in fact, I wouldn't have killed him. I just hadn't expected my extra guest to be crawling about in my napkin!
Once our bellies were full, we all dispersed throughout the house for coffee and conversation. My cousin was giving my grandmother cell phone lessons so she would be able to actually call for help, which was the intention of her purchase. Someone had recently broken into my grandfather's garage and stolen some of his tools. All was quiet and then...
Lindsey's 3 month old Jack Russell pup engaged in a chase with my grandparents seriously chubby and wrecking-ball-bodied boxer, who was also chasing the crazy cat. As the fur covered frenzy escalated, I suddenly saw panic-filled green cat eyes flying directly at my face! I'm going to lose my eyeballs!
Gasps and "Oh my Gods" again filled the house. What the hell was going on here?!?! Grandma keeps a very tidy, and controlled house. It is filled with antiques and Better Homes and Gardens charm. Her yard was featured in the Garden Tour. Am I in the right house? Have I accidentally sat down to dinner with the Griswolds?
And for the grand finale, when relatives began their goodbyes, and wrapped up leftover treats for midnight snacks...
"LINDSEY!!!" Uh-oh, Grandmother sounds mad. "Come get in here and clean this up. That damn dog has pooped on my carpet! That little shit."
After all of the excitement dissipated, we shared a few good laughs. Despite our Thanksgiving being a little non-conventional, it was definitely one I will always remember.
Moments after everyone had gathered in the dining room, shutgun blasts were echoing in the background. In the city, this may have been alarming, however, out in the serenity of the countryside, we all chalked it up to holiday hunting or target practice. As the boom of the gun fire continued, the giggles turned to "Geees"s and "That sounds kind of close!"
My grandparents then engaged in their typical turkey-slicing tiff. "Where is the spoon?!" The gravy spoon was missing and causing quite a stir. Apparently, it had submerged itself in the hot gravy. As grandpa tried to fish it out, his paper-towel potholder caught fire!!! With each panicked attempt to extinguish it, the flames became more intense. Okay, so we'll call the cops and the fire department!
After the smoke and excitement settled, we all sat down to enjoy our feast. As I opened my napkin, something rather large and alien like was scurrying about inside of my napkin.
"Oh my God!" I shrieked.
In light of the gunshots and potential four-alarm fire, forks dropped and attention fell upon my hornet in the napkin. Grandpa came to the rescue and the hornet went to meet Jesus after meeting the bottom of his shoe. Bugs don't alarm me, in fact, I wouldn't have killed him. I just hadn't expected my extra guest to be crawling about in my napkin!
Once our bellies were full, we all dispersed throughout the house for coffee and conversation. My cousin was giving my grandmother cell phone lessons so she would be able to actually call for help, which was the intention of her purchase. Someone had recently broken into my grandfather's garage and stolen some of his tools. All was quiet and then...
Lindsey's 3 month old Jack Russell pup engaged in a chase with my grandparents seriously chubby and wrecking-ball-bodied boxer, who was also chasing the crazy cat. As the fur covered frenzy escalated, I suddenly saw panic-filled green cat eyes flying directly at my face! I'm going to lose my eyeballs!
Gasps and "Oh my Gods" again filled the house. What the hell was going on here?!?! Grandma keeps a very tidy, and controlled house. It is filled with antiques and Better Homes and Gardens charm. Her yard was featured in the Garden Tour. Am I in the right house? Have I accidentally sat down to dinner with the Griswolds?
And for the grand finale, when relatives began their goodbyes, and wrapped up leftover treats for midnight snacks...
"LINDSEY!!!" Uh-oh, Grandmother sounds mad. "Come get in here and clean this up. That damn dog has pooped on my carpet! That little shit."
After all of the excitement dissipated, we shared a few good laughs. Despite our Thanksgiving being a little non-conventional, it was definitely one I will always remember.
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