The New Year always brings an onslaught of diet and fitness information, as most of us become suddenly aware of a bulge here, and a jiggle there. Being a bit rebellious to any behaviors done en mass (musicals give me the creeps!), I've always followed my own haphazard diet and fitness plans.
But, now I am unofficially on a grapefruit diet.
Actually, my mother just happened to leave me a big bag of grapefruits and I can't afford groceries. So, I'll be eating grapefruits daily. If I suddendly become slimmer and trimmer and get offered to do the cover of a fitness magazine, hey, I won't complain.
I had forgotten how much I love the smell of grapefruit. How fun it is to cut out the little triangles before you enjoy the sugar-sprinkled slices. It left me wondering why I don't enjoy them more often.
I'm "slacking" today. The two guys that are doing work on the rental with me are off on another job. This puts some of my work on hold. However, I think I will be able to reassemble the front room, and finally have something on the "completed" list. I'll be heading over there as soon as I get done rambling here.
The rash on the back of my neck had me miserably scratching in my sleep. I was "blessed" with sensitive skin, so the cause of it could be as simple as my oversized, paint-covered T-shirt irritating my neck as I paint. Of course, I have no benadryl creams here, so I'll have to do my best to try and ignore its existence.
I thought it best to job search last night. I hadn't logged on to many job posting sites between Christmas and the New Year. There was actually quite a high number of postings, however, the majority of them were either for the U.S. Army, or physical therapy. It was, yet another, fruitless mission.
The news just reported that the number of people leaving the state had doubled last year and exceeded the number of people moving in. It will never cease to amaze me that somehow our state government made enough poor choices to make this beautiful state undesirable to live in. But, hey, I may soon have the entire state to myself! As much as I would love to have a house out in the mountainous wonder of Colorado, I can still appreciate all of the natural beauty good ol' Michigan has to offer. The only thing people seemed to be interested in, as of late, was our water. Our governor had to put protections in place to prevent our water from being "bootlegged." Have these people never enjoyed a summer of swimming, sailing, and water-skiing? Michigan provides such a beautiful backdrop for a lovely vacation... yet no one seems to want to visit. Are they afraid they won't be able to get back out? Afraid that they will be mugged by the thousands of struggling unemployed people?
My aunt and uncle suggested, again, that I consider moving out of state. My aunt "would hate to see (me) stuck here." Stuck? I don't view myself as stuck. Stubborn and determined, maybe. You see, I've never been driven by money. I realize this could, and probably has caused me problems, but it's just who I am. Sure there are 49 states that are doing much better than Michigan, but I can't justify moving away from my family and friends just for money. Besides, I don't have the money to travel to another state and stay in a hotel while I job hunt/interview. I don't have money to move or put a deposit on an apartment. Odds of finding someone to buy my house would surely be stacked against me, finding renters is even a challenge for property owners here. And, unless I would be able to guarantee that I would have enough money and time to travel home to see my family, there is no way I would consider moving.
I've simplified my life and spending enough to make supporting myself a pretty inexpensive task. Is my house my "dream home?" No. Is it out in the wilderness, tucked away from the shuffle of city life? No. But, it's mine, and it was a dream. I had gotten myself into such a financial mess in the past that I literally thought being 40-something and living in my mother's creepy spider-infested basement was all I had to look forward to. I've put my own personal touch on the walls and decor and made the most of some of the outdated features. I'm actually quite fond of my house, and letting it go; giving up; just doesn't sit well with me.
Will I stay here forever? Probably not. My semi-delusional vision foresees me finding the way to financial stability and seeking out my mountainous paradise. But that is then, and this is now.
For now, I must continuously remind myself to be grateful for what I do have, and find some sort of comfort in knowing that most people don't get where they are without a lot of hard work. I've always been a hard worker, but this is the first time I've worked hard for myself. Sure it frustrates me that I can't easily find a job, and worrying about the future has caused me a great bit of grief. But, I've proven to myself that I can survive, and most importantly, that I want to.
I spent 28 years of my life doing what other people thought I should. Once I began to figure out who I was and what I wanted, the "getting there" seemed impossible. And although I have yet to officially "make it," freeing myself from the pain and confusion of a life unfullfilled has provided me with a strength I never thought I'd have.
Being 37, unwed, childless, and unemployed, doesn't exactly define "accomplished" to most. But, reflecting on how misguided, misfortunate, and miserable I used to be... I've come a long way, baby! I've managed to cling to hope when there ought be none, and I have more of a drive to not only survive, but to eventually thrive, than I have ever had in my entire life.
Speaking of drive, I'd better drive my ass to the rental unit and get to work!
But, now I am unofficially on a grapefruit diet.
Actually, my mother just happened to leave me a big bag of grapefruits and I can't afford groceries. So, I'll be eating grapefruits daily. If I suddendly become slimmer and trimmer and get offered to do the cover of a fitness magazine, hey, I won't complain.
I had forgotten how much I love the smell of grapefruit. How fun it is to cut out the little triangles before you enjoy the sugar-sprinkled slices. It left me wondering why I don't enjoy them more often.
I'm "slacking" today. The two guys that are doing work on the rental with me are off on another job. This puts some of my work on hold. However, I think I will be able to reassemble the front room, and finally have something on the "completed" list. I'll be heading over there as soon as I get done rambling here.
The rash on the back of my neck had me miserably scratching in my sleep. I was "blessed" with sensitive skin, so the cause of it could be as simple as my oversized, paint-covered T-shirt irritating my neck as I paint. Of course, I have no benadryl creams here, so I'll have to do my best to try and ignore its existence.
I thought it best to job search last night. I hadn't logged on to many job posting sites between Christmas and the New Year. There was actually quite a high number of postings, however, the majority of them were either for the U.S. Army, or physical therapy. It was, yet another, fruitless mission.
The news just reported that the number of people leaving the state had doubled last year and exceeded the number of people moving in. It will never cease to amaze me that somehow our state government made enough poor choices to make this beautiful state undesirable to live in. But, hey, I may soon have the entire state to myself! As much as I would love to have a house out in the mountainous wonder of Colorado, I can still appreciate all of the natural beauty good ol' Michigan has to offer. The only thing people seemed to be interested in, as of late, was our water. Our governor had to put protections in place to prevent our water from being "bootlegged." Have these people never enjoyed a summer of swimming, sailing, and water-skiing? Michigan provides such a beautiful backdrop for a lovely vacation... yet no one seems to want to visit. Are they afraid they won't be able to get back out? Afraid that they will be mugged by the thousands of struggling unemployed people?
My aunt and uncle suggested, again, that I consider moving out of state. My aunt "would hate to see (me) stuck here." Stuck? I don't view myself as stuck. Stubborn and determined, maybe. You see, I've never been driven by money. I realize this could, and probably has caused me problems, but it's just who I am. Sure there are 49 states that are doing much better than Michigan, but I can't justify moving away from my family and friends just for money. Besides, I don't have the money to travel to another state and stay in a hotel while I job hunt/interview. I don't have money to move or put a deposit on an apartment. Odds of finding someone to buy my house would surely be stacked against me, finding renters is even a challenge for property owners here. And, unless I would be able to guarantee that I would have enough money and time to travel home to see my family, there is no way I would consider moving.
I've simplified my life and spending enough to make supporting myself a pretty inexpensive task. Is my house my "dream home?" No. Is it out in the wilderness, tucked away from the shuffle of city life? No. But, it's mine, and it was a dream. I had gotten myself into such a financial mess in the past that I literally thought being 40-something and living in my mother's creepy spider-infested basement was all I had to look forward to. I've put my own personal touch on the walls and decor and made the most of some of the outdated features. I'm actually quite fond of my house, and letting it go; giving up; just doesn't sit well with me.
Will I stay here forever? Probably not. My semi-delusional vision foresees me finding the way to financial stability and seeking out my mountainous paradise. But that is then, and this is now.
For now, I must continuously remind myself to be grateful for what I do have, and find some sort of comfort in knowing that most people don't get where they are without a lot of hard work. I've always been a hard worker, but this is the first time I've worked hard for myself. Sure it frustrates me that I can't easily find a job, and worrying about the future has caused me a great bit of grief. But, I've proven to myself that I can survive, and most importantly, that I want to.
I spent 28 years of my life doing what other people thought I should. Once I began to figure out who I was and what I wanted, the "getting there" seemed impossible. And although I have yet to officially "make it," freeing myself from the pain and confusion of a life unfullfilled has provided me with a strength I never thought I'd have.
Being 37, unwed, childless, and unemployed, doesn't exactly define "accomplished" to most. But, reflecting on how misguided, misfortunate, and miserable I used to be... I've come a long way, baby! I've managed to cling to hope when there ought be none, and I have more of a drive to not only survive, but to eventually thrive, than I have ever had in my entire life.
Speaking of drive, I'd better drive my ass to the rental unit and get to work!
2 comments:
I leave in Colorado and my husband is from Michigan. His sister-in-law (who lives in Oregon) and I were trying to talk him into a vacation in the UP, and he kept saying no. Then he said one word that stopped us both - humidity! Colorado's low humidity is one of it's great benefits.
Okay, I have to chime in here...
As a former Great Laker myself (who has always fantasized about living in Colorado, Wyoming or Montana) I cannot fathom why anyone in their right mind would *not* want to vacation in the UP.
Some of my fondest childhood memories are of living in Sturgeon Bay Wisconsin and taking weekend jaunts with family and friends of the family to the miles and miles of beautiful shores of Lake Michigan and Green Bay.
Back in '82 my favorite cousin and I took a two week trip that started out at my Granparent's place in Traverse City (we fished the Boardman River...perhaps the clearest and most beautiful river in the region) then set out across the UP to visit family in Minneapolis St. Paul...stopping for days along the way at nondescript campgrounds with most beautiful lakes and pine forests across the UP. Never, NEVER forget that summer. Both Granparents have gone to their reward...the memories remain.
I now reside in Iowa, God's country in it's own right, and have no intentions of leaving...unless I move closer to family in Indiana...but will always head for the Great Lakes for some "soul" time.
Mona, you're making the right choice. You can travel anywhere, but there's something to be said about fierce loyalty to your soul...and home is where the soul is.
And if we are at home in our souls...anywhere is home, because "where you are, there you are."
That's a quote from a book someone once recommended... ;-)
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