Corporate Cable Gods

FRUSTRATIONS! UGH! I had trouble with my cable for over two months. I'm not in love with T.V., so I sure as hell don't aim to fight tooth and nail to watch it. The company offers 24hr/365 days a year "customer service." Really. Maybe they meant to say, "It will take you at least a total of 24 hours and maybe up to 365 days to resolve your problem and get what you pay for."

During each of my "convenient" online chats to get things working, a signal was sent from outer space to my dysfunctional equipment. Always with the same result... nothing. Follow that with a "ma'am it can take up to one hour." Really. Don't you mean one month?

I finally took more time out of my day and called to schedule an in-house appointment, since apparently that would be TOO convenient to do in an online chat. I asked about a credit to my account, considering I was not receiving what they happily charged me for. "Well, if they determine there is a problem, a credit may be issued." Look lady... I'm not calling you because I'm lonely and looking to make new friends! I'm calling you, because there IS A PROBLEM! HELLO!

Once I finally got a guy to come out to fix it, the neighborhood had lost power. Nice. Thanks, God. Is that you telling me T.V. is the communication device of the devil? Mr. Repair Guy thought he was getting out of this one. Oh know you don't, buddy! I had him come by and drop off the new box.

Power on. Cable still not working right.

Call for another appointment. Schedule yet another two hours out of my day, to sit and wait for some guy to make my T.V. work properly. I'm starting to feel like I need to be doing more important things than guarantee that I can watch the latest poorly acted movie on Lifetime, even though I know I won't. This is beginning to make no sense! Mr. Repair Guy doesn't show. Pissed.

Call yet again. Finally talk to someone who violates all of the sodomistic practices of modern-day Corporate America, and tells the truth! I explained to her that it was obvious to me that no one, all the way down the line of this journey, had left any type of notes, or remarks on my account, and that is why they were so clueless to my battle to get what I pay for! I don't HAVE to be understanding, but I chose to. There is no policy! No requirement to track service issues! Really. Sounds like a great plan. Let people continuously fail to get problems resolved,and call up your underpaid, under trained and over worked staff, angry as all fiery hell, make them quit, and force you to perpetuate the revolving door of hiring, firing and quitting. Corporate America needs to quit focusing solely on profit, and find efficient means of taking care of it's employees and customers! (Thanks for letting me vent.)

Finally, another appointment. Two months have now passed. This time, the risky HONEST employee, that probably could have been fired for being honest with me, made sure that notes were left and a supervisor assisted in the service call. My cable line had to be reinstalled. Okay! We're over it, right?

WRONG! Last month's bill showed no credit whatsoever. Not even 10 cents. I gave them the benefit of the doubt... perhaps the bill and credit crossed in the mail, or the magical signals from outer space. I wasn't calling them again. Shit, I've invested more time in the cable company then any relationship I've had in the last year.

Next bill arrives today. No credit. Alright, damn't, I'm calling. I get bounced around in their lovely automated system, like a pinball you know is going right between the bumpers and back into the black hole. "Holly" was pissy. I asked to speak to a supervisor. Houston, we're back in space. Recording. I've been zapped into "f-u, customer" land. I call back. I get "Leslie" this time. I kindly, yes really, tell her that I am losing my patience and putting this much time and effort into the ability to pay for and watch television has simply become ridiculous to me. She credits my account for two months. (I should have pushed for three and a free pizza for pain and suffering).

I pose this question to the almighty corporate cable Gods: "Why does it take me over two months, a half a dozen online chats, three service appointments, and 7 phone calls to solve a problem with your company... yet, you don't miss a beat sending me a bill?"