Okay. So it's no secret that I haven't been myself. But, I've got shit to do! I've got shit DUE! I had been drawing a complete BLANK each and every time I sat down with my last project for class. We have to write an instruction manual! A what?! You mean those things I never read, and usually throw away? The very thought of having to read one... let alone write one, has been haunting me since the beginning of the semester. But, if I'm gonna get my last "A," my last "look at how smart I am," I've got to seriously get crackin'!
Our text-only draft was due today... so I had no choice but to pick myself up out of my "funk" long enough to get something on paper... ANYTHING!! I didn't get my first concrete start until after 7 p.m. last night. I did some serious negotiating with the professor and got permission to do a "spoof" on the instruction manual. I'm writing a manual titled, "How to Survive a Dysfunctional Childhood." It MUST be hilarious! This is the first time I've tried my comedic talents in this type of format, and the pressure is immense. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very quick-witted, and typically pretty damn funny! When you've lived the life I have, you either learn to make fun of it, and laugh things off... or you shoot yourself in the head! Why is this so hard?
Our final copy is due next week on Wednesday. I will be out of town for a family reunion... so I have to have this perfected by the end of Monday's class! I don't have TIME to be in this funk!
As far as the "boys" go... Well, they don't! I've learned through Mack's MySpace page, that he is moving in 10 days, to Florida. It would have been nice to hear it from him. I didn't have any long-term expectations from him, but I really did dig his personality, and would have enjoyed a friendship. I'm all about people chasing their dreams and breaking free from the "I can't"s, the "but what about..."s, and any other fear-based excuses to be made! In fact, it makes me feel a little regret that I've started to fall back into that myself! I swore I would NEVER buy a house here, let alone live here again... and, well... I did. And, I do.
Nick and I exchanged emails. I made a crack about my sex life and he cracked back. When I joked about how the sex must not have been that good since he hadn't been back for more... he told me sex just gets in the way, and he's trying to be a man of God. Okay, Nick. Lay off the booze! Surely he must be kidding! I am, by no means, against religion... or God... but Nick has either lost his mind, or I failed to get the joke! Anyway... regardless of whether or not he traded "ugly-bumpin'" for "bible-thumpin'"... I'm just not interested anymore!
So now... according to the polls... my choices are down to: George Clooney, or a therapist. I'm pretty cute, but I'm not foolish enough to think I could pass for one of George's runway-model-girlfriend-of-the-weeks. Sooooo... therapist? Well, therapists expect you to pay them, and I believe having sex with them is frowned upon. So (if I remember to) I will take down that poll, and replace it with a more life-applicable one by the beginning of next week.
There ya have it folks... I've got some McDonald's to digest. My cupboards are bare, and my wallet is too! I'm too tired to cook, and a greasy, cheesy, fat gram-laden burger sounded pretty damn nice. Sometimes ya gotta make do!
1 comment:
Well I'm jealous. I read so many instruction manuals I could probably write one without a class...but creative writing? I tip the capot to the queen of wit!
I still say George Clooney. Can't win if ya don't play!
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