I did it.
I broke the silence. The security. His serenity.
I wrote C.F.
I said one-gazillionth of the things I long to say...
I wanted him to know that I think of him; every day.
He's busy. Wrapped up in life. In the demands of being him. But I had to tell him. I still want him. Need him, but that, I didn't say. He wrote back, and said I can expect a "proper letter" soon.
Fuck proper! Nothing about us is, or was, proper. Part of me wishes I'd never met him, and the other can't stop wishing we'd never "parted." And, I'm simply driving myself mad thinking.
Our "entanglement" was secret. So I'm left alone... to wallow in it. I dare not discuss it freely... only he and I may truly understand it.
I miss him.
I'm pushing people away... like the rich on a street full of beggars... and although I do not enjoy my loneliness, I wish not to share it. It's unspeakable. Unspoken.
I broke the silence. The security. His serenity.
I wrote C.F.
I said one-gazillionth of the things I long to say...
I wanted him to know that I think of him; every day.
He's busy. Wrapped up in life. In the demands of being him. But I had to tell him. I still want him. Need him, but that, I didn't say. He wrote back, and said I can expect a "proper letter" soon.
Fuck proper! Nothing about us is, or was, proper. Part of me wishes I'd never met him, and the other can't stop wishing we'd never "parted." And, I'm simply driving myself mad thinking.
Our "entanglement" was secret. So I'm left alone... to wallow in it. I dare not discuss it freely... only he and I may truly understand it.
I miss him.
I'm pushing people away... like the rich on a street full of beggars... and although I do not enjoy my loneliness, I wish not to share it. It's unspeakable. Unspoken.
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