I'm stuck! Confused. Well not really... I know what I want to do, but this unfortunate thing called money is in the way!
I want to be a writer. An artist with many muses. Many forms of media to play with. I want to earn my living creating. Whether it be writing articles for a newspaper, transforming my friend's home with paint, sculpting an abstract ceramic vase, photographing a mystical tree in the local park, or singing a song I've written in a local coffee shop on a Sunday afternoon.
But, these things don't generate cash simply on a dream, and like unlike dreams, they don't happen overnight.
In contrast to what I want to be... this is what I am: I am an unemployed single woman, with a college degree and substantial work experience in the management of people and business. Which, I must say, I believe is an art in itself. Effective leadership is a talent, and requires some pretty creative thinking at times. An ability to paint a lovelier picture than the one before you. To have the vision and the know-how to get there.
So what am I doing to facilitate the transition between what I want to be, and what I am? I'm planting seeds. Everywhere. A hyperbolic horticulturist. A brainstorming botanist. A gregarious gardener. I'm writing something somewhere, everyday. I'm reading something new... everyday. I'm researching careers... everyday. Networking with fellow "arty" friends. Networking with friends for work. Searching job postings, multiple times a day. Sending resumes, cover letters, and talking with my unemployment case workers.
Here is my predicament. The difficult decision and tangled web I am caught in. I need a job. I want a job. I have to have a steady source of income to pay for my house and utilities... and also fund my creative adventures. I'm enrolled in the "No Worker Left Behind" program in which you have two options: seek assistance in the "on the job training program" in which they help you to secure employment, OR "tuition reimbursement" in which they pay up to $5,000 for two years while you attain new job skills to help you secure future employment. But, it must be in one of their researched "in demand" fields. Most of which do not truly interest me, aside from Paralegal and Interior Design. Interior Design is something I've already done and truly love. I've had a handful of clients over the last 10 years. It's artistic. It's a passion. But, would two years of training really qualify me for a position with a large firm? And does that matter? I don't care to be working for anyone other than myself. But, how do I make this happen?
If I begin schooling, I lose my unemployment. If I lose my unemployment, I lose my house and my ability to sustain my life. If I begin schooling before I get a job, I have to pray that any job I find does not conflict with my schooling. And, the job would have to come first, because, like all of you, I have to pay the bills! If I enter into training that doesn't align with who I am and what I long to do... I've just erased any and all progress I have made with soul-searching and seed planting... and I've just put myself in the same miserable position I have been in for the majority of my 36 years!
So obviously the job comes first. And unfortunately this hasn't been an easy obstacle to overcome! And I must have a job that leaves enough free time to continue on my creative path... and allow for schooling if I chose that option. Do I chose that option? Is more education necessary to get where I want to be? I love to learn and want to learn any and everything I can, but I also know that spreading myself to thin and stretching bits of me in many different directions that conflict with the one I desire to go in, just creates a mess! So do I chose job assistance and skip the schooling? What is the answer here?
I want to be a writer. An artist with many muses. Many forms of media to play with. I want to earn my living creating. Whether it be writing articles for a newspaper, transforming my friend's home with paint, sculpting an abstract ceramic vase, photographing a mystical tree in the local park, or singing a song I've written in a local coffee shop on a Sunday afternoon.
But, these things don't generate cash simply on a dream, and like unlike dreams, they don't happen overnight.
In contrast to what I want to be... this is what I am: I am an unemployed single woman, with a college degree and substantial work experience in the management of people and business. Which, I must say, I believe is an art in itself. Effective leadership is a talent, and requires some pretty creative thinking at times. An ability to paint a lovelier picture than the one before you. To have the vision and the know-how to get there.
So what am I doing to facilitate the transition between what I want to be, and what I am? I'm planting seeds. Everywhere. A hyperbolic horticulturist. A brainstorming botanist. A gregarious gardener. I'm writing something somewhere, everyday. I'm reading something new... everyday. I'm researching careers... everyday. Networking with fellow "arty" friends. Networking with friends for work. Searching job postings, multiple times a day. Sending resumes, cover letters, and talking with my unemployment case workers.
Here is my predicament. The difficult decision and tangled web I am caught in. I need a job. I want a job. I have to have a steady source of income to pay for my house and utilities... and also fund my creative adventures. I'm enrolled in the "No Worker Left Behind" program in which you have two options: seek assistance in the "on the job training program" in which they help you to secure employment, OR "tuition reimbursement" in which they pay up to $5,000 for two years while you attain new job skills to help you secure future employment. But, it must be in one of their researched "in demand" fields. Most of which do not truly interest me, aside from Paralegal and Interior Design. Interior Design is something I've already done and truly love. I've had a handful of clients over the last 10 years. It's artistic. It's a passion. But, would two years of training really qualify me for a position with a large firm? And does that matter? I don't care to be working for anyone other than myself. But, how do I make this happen?
If I begin schooling, I lose my unemployment. If I lose my unemployment, I lose my house and my ability to sustain my life. If I begin schooling before I get a job, I have to pray that any job I find does not conflict with my schooling. And, the job would have to come first, because, like all of you, I have to pay the bills! If I enter into training that doesn't align with who I am and what I long to do... I've just erased any and all progress I have made with soul-searching and seed planting... and I've just put myself in the same miserable position I have been in for the majority of my 36 years!
So obviously the job comes first. And unfortunately this hasn't been an easy obstacle to overcome! And I must have a job that leaves enough free time to continue on my creative path... and allow for schooling if I chose that option. Do I chose that option? Is more education necessary to get where I want to be? I love to learn and want to learn any and everything I can, but I also know that spreading myself to thin and stretching bits of me in many different directions that conflict with the one I desire to go in, just creates a mess! So do I chose job assistance and skip the schooling? What is the answer here?
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