Mona Lake is Dead???

So tonight I confided in a friend. And I said, "I think Mona is dead." Which is me, of course.

But. Fuck that. I'm not dead.

I'm just hurt because I allowed myself to really feel, for the first time in a long time... but with a man who couldn't, even if he wanted to, feel back. And as much as I could try to convince myself it was wrong, I know it wasn't. There was a devine reason for us to meet, which the true meaning of, I have yet to discover.

But I know, that I've wasted the majority of my life denying who I am, what I want, and where I want to be. And when it's all said and done, I'll have one last regret.

So I'm here. Wanting him. And he probably wants me too. But, that can't be. So. I'm thinking I am about to entertain the thought of a "no strings attached" relationship, based solely on sex. Because... I am... a 37 year-old woman, that is fit, smart, sexy, funny, and open-minded... and there is a world out there that keeps on spinning; with or without me. And damn it! I want to have some hot sex! Not once. Not twice. But at least, three times... this year!