"R" just left. We spent a few hours together. He's handsome, kind, and full of compliments... but he's not C.F. If I had my way, I would be in C.F.'s arms... in bed... for about a week, with room service delivering any and all necessities to avoid the need for clothing.
But, I can't have him.
And, I got a very sweet and romantic card from Ireland today, featuring the artwork, "The Kiss" by Klimt.
So here I am, feeling like one of those arrogant but hot "player" guys that all of the girls say they hate... but they wind up sleeping with anyway. I'd love to tell C.F. how I feel, but I don't want to risk running him off and ruining what is left of our intellectual love affair. And I'd love to tell the Irishman that I'm going to date other people... but what would that do to our spark? Is there a spark anymore?
And "R." "R" asked me what I want last night. A little too premature in my mind... but something I may have been open to before I had become so entangled with C.F. I was sure to explain to him that I am in a very transitional stage of my life, and that I am finally pursuing lifelong dreams. That I don't know what will come of them, where I will end up, and what I will be doing at the "end" of it all. But I surely didn't volunteer that as of now, my heart and mind belong partially, if not completely, to someone else.
I don't want to complicate my life. But I don't want to let it pass me by either. So I suppose my "moves" will have to be a slight bit strategic when it comes to "playing with boys." I've never dated more than one man. And this situation is a little strange! I'm pining away for a man I can't have that lives out of state, travels for work, and is also in a serious relationship with someone else. I'm chatting across the ocean with a man from another country... and playing kissy face with "R." A man who would like a relationship with me, wants to fix my car, and help me with projects around the house.
And all I can think of right now is chicken wings and C.F.
What a wicked, wicked game!
But, I can't have him.
And, I got a very sweet and romantic card from Ireland today, featuring the artwork, "The Kiss" by Klimt.
So here I am, feeling like one of those arrogant but hot "player" guys that all of the girls say they hate... but they wind up sleeping with anyway. I'd love to tell C.F. how I feel, but I don't want to risk running him off and ruining what is left of our intellectual love affair. And I'd love to tell the Irishman that I'm going to date other people... but what would that do to our spark? Is there a spark anymore?
And "R." "R" asked me what I want last night. A little too premature in my mind... but something I may have been open to before I had become so entangled with C.F. I was sure to explain to him that I am in a very transitional stage of my life, and that I am finally pursuing lifelong dreams. That I don't know what will come of them, where I will end up, and what I will be doing at the "end" of it all. But I surely didn't volunteer that as of now, my heart and mind belong partially, if not completely, to someone else.
I don't want to complicate my life. But I don't want to let it pass me by either. So I suppose my "moves" will have to be a slight bit strategic when it comes to "playing with boys." I've never dated more than one man. And this situation is a little strange! I'm pining away for a man I can't have that lives out of state, travels for work, and is also in a serious relationship with someone else. I'm chatting across the ocean with a man from another country... and playing kissy face with "R." A man who would like a relationship with me, wants to fix my car, and help me with projects around the house.
And all I can think of right now is chicken wings and C.F.
What a wicked, wicked game!
2 comments:
mona, i don't get it. which one are you sleeping with? trying to figure it out and can't!
Aren't women a pain in the ass? You never know what they are really thinking. Or is that men?
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