The Haunting

Due to the fact that I, myself, often question my own level of sanity, I have been hesitant to share a bizarre story with you...

I'm being haunted by coffee!

Yes, coffee.

The distinct smell of coffee, one of my absolute favorite simple pleasures, teases my olfactory senses randomly. It happened again today! In fact, I can smell coffee right now!

What is so bizarre about that, you ask?

I haven't made coffee since Christmas morning. The smell was so strong and clear earlier this afternoon, that I actually wondered who was in my house making coffee. Has the "boogey man" broken in and helped himself to a steaming cup of dark roast? And if he has, why hasn't he delivered a cup to my nightstand? Is he not aware that the gravitational forces between my ass and my mattress are so strong that I have been unable to get out of bed today?

This strange phenomenon has occurred sporadically for several months. Despite my secret fascination with dork-friendly shows such as "Ghost Hunters" or "Paranormal State," I have yet to find a plausible explanation for this caffinated craze.

If I recall correctly, this "haunting" only occurs when I am in bed. My bedroom is near the kitchen, and the coffee pot is approximately 25 feet away from my perch. However, as I said earlier, I haven't actually brewed coffee in three days. I don't notice any smell of coffee when I am in the kitchen, the coffee ground containers are sealed, and my coffee pot is clean.

Is this some sort of devine intervention? A "wake (the fuck) up call?"