Thursday, January 14, 2010

What a Pisser!!!!

So this guy, who has been very patient and understanding in regards to my lack of time to pursue actually meeting anyone from the online world of romance, sent me a message to check in on me and say hello. I happened to read it while actually having a few minutes to myself, so I decided to give him a call. Because I think it's wise to keep your personal information private until you have a good idea the recipient of your information isn't a Ted Bundy wanna-be... I blocked my number.

"Hey! How are you?" he asks enthusiastically.

"Hi. I'm good, thanks." I reply.

"You blocked your number? Okayyyyyy... well you're gonna have to listen to me pee."

What the hell? My eyes rolled around in their sockets while I tried to figure out what kind of weird Latin name this fetish would have.

"Okay. Sorry about that. So what is Carrie trying to pull you into again?!" He asked.

"Carrie?"

"What? Who is this again?"

"Um, the person you just emailed your phone number to." I replied.

"OH MY GOD!!! I am soooo embarrassed." He declared as he fumbled words all about in an effort to explain himself and justify his audible expulsion of urine.

I was very tempted to tell him that it sounded like he didn't have any prostate issues, but decided that was even stranger than the fact I had just listened to someone piss in a toilet and I have never met them in person.

I'm not making this shit up, folks!

The poor guy felt terrible about his choice to relieve himself while I was on the other end of the phone and carried on and on about how he had just been texting a friend of 20 years (who apparently is accustomed to listening to him pee) and wondered why they would have blocked their number. Ever heard of the "mute" button, Mr.? Certainly that hasn't gone the way of the rotary phone and become extinct in the world of ever-changing technology!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So that’s what you get with online dating. One indecent exposure and one public urination, nice. They didn’t leave much to the imagination maybe they mistook it for speed dating. Get all of the bodily function stuff out of the way fast so you can get right down to getting to know someone. I think I’d be a top choice out of that group unless you’re ok with that but I think not. Alas I do not fall within your dating criteria, for one thing I usually keep my zipper up on a first date, usually. By the way what is your connection to Birch trees? I couldn’t see the forest for the beauty, sorry it’s the forest for the trees right.

ms Givens said...

That is funny! The world is so informal these days.

Mona Lake said...

Anonymous- Your speed dating theory is hilarious! However, because I'm afraid of what I might encounter next if that became an acceptable mindset... let's keep that to ourselves!

Anonymous said...

On “Outliers”…… Success is a mixture, luck, circumstance, hard work, culture. Throw anything else into the mix and that might also work. How can you achieve it without all the hard work, now that would be a book. I rolled the dice and it came up luck. Just enjoy the journey

Mona Lake said...

Ms. Givens- Welcome! Cute page you have there and I admire your fashion resourcefulness.

Anonymous2- "Outliers" is an excellent book that everyone should be mandated to read! What a testament to the fact that sometimes people just need a CHANCE!