After being exposed to chemical fumes someone in the ceramics studio was using Monday night, my throat immediately began to hurt. No matter how many ibuprofen pills I popped... the pain persisted.
Hoping the pain would subside by morning, I fantasized about sushi and wasabi before going to bed. Unfortunately, not only was I unable to sleep well, my throat was still very sore throughout the day on Tuesday. I no longer wanted to eat.
What?
Something is seriously wrong with me if I am not wanting to eat! I contemplated seeking medical attention, but figured that since the pain was a result of an irritation, I'd likely be stuck with simply a bill, since it wouldn't be as easily remedied as an infection would be.
So I cancelled dinner Tuesday. Date one... down.
Whizzer and I had spoken late Tuesday afternoon. He continually expressed excitement to meet on Thursday and was concerned about my discomfort. He had some events that night and said he'd text me around 8:30 p.m. and if I wanted to talk he would call.
The text never came.
I wasn't actually mad that he didn't contact me. I hardly felt like communicating. However, we haven't actually met yet, and we are all supposedly on our best behavior in the beginning of relationships. During lunch today, I sent him a text that said, "It's a little past 8:30." He replied with ":(" After asking him what the ":(" was about he said because he hadn't called me. He also said he was in a meeting and asked that I call him on my way home.
The explanation of his failure to contact me at the magical moment of 8:30 was one of exhaustion and simply going to sleep. Okay. I get that. I did the same thing. The conversation continued and included discussion as to where we should meet for dinner tomorrow. And then...
"I've got to head to soccer in a minute. How about I call you on my way there and we'll talk. It won't be like last night. I'll really call you."
And... he didn't.
About 9:30 p.m., I receive a text: "Hi :)" I replied with a question mark, which was then leading to a potential conversation through texting, which I am vehemently opposed to, unless absolutely necessary. He called after I messaged that I would not have an entire conversation through text. At first he claimed to be confused and didn't even acknowledge his failure to call. Again, I'm not that worked up about it, but I do have serious concerns about his lack of follow through, especially back to back lacks of follow through, before we have even ever met!
Now the burning question... should I even bother going out with this guy? If I meet him for dinner, I'll be travelling 50 minutes one way. If I went through the motions of getting ready for a date, drove that far, used up the time and gas, polluted the environment... for someone who didn't even show...oh I'd be a little pissed at that point. He said he'd absolutely be there. But, he also said he call...twice...two days in a row... and did not. I told him I'd have to think about whether I'll be meeting him for dinner.
Initially, my thoughts are to cancel. Aside from these incidences, he appears to have qualities I would appreciate in a partner, but I need to give some thought to what kind of message I'm sending if I do choose to go out with him. You know that Dr. Phil guy says, "You teach people how to treat you." I don't need another person in my life that doesn't do what they say they will when they said they would... I've got two friends, an aunt and cousin to fill that roster. Sure it was just a couple phone calls... but is it an implication of his future behavior in the big picture?
The joys of dating.
I'm thinking I should cancel tomorrow night's dinner, even though I was truly looking forward to it, and then see how he handles that. I don't think I should completely write him off yet, but I also don't think I should ignore his recent behavior either. He's expecting an answer in the morning. I'll be polling the girls at work to get their opinions for certain.
What would YOU do?
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6 comments:
My suggestion (as if it matters) would be to go on the date. Don’t make it a game of getting back at him for his arrogant behavior. And that is what it was, he expected you to be available on his terms. If you go on the date you will be the better person from the start, you can be subtle but let him know that it won’t fly in the future. That is if you even think there might be a future. If the whole thing is a bust then you will be saving yourself a week or two of texting or not texting in your case and can spend some more time snuggled up next to a nice warm kiln. Use a mask this time. Good luck with whatever happens.
I agree! That's what was frustrating me is that the more you try to avoid engaging in these "games" of dating, the more you begin playing one!
As for the mask... it wasn't my fuming... I was an innocent by-stander minding my own business while being exposed to God knows what chemicals and burning toilet paper. Anything that can be set on fire is fair game with these ceramic people! Nothing is sacred!
Thank you, kindly, for your advice. I will be going on my date, and if he doesn't show, I'll be sending him an itemized bill, including mileage :)
Did you go?
I think I would have cancelled, but I have been married to 3 game players and am fed up with men.
I am pretty sure I would cancel. You said it best...this is the time that both parties should be on their best behavior. With no valid answer to why no call...(tired doesn't cut it in my book...you can sit to talk for a sec)I am afraid he just doesn't get it. You deserve a mam who will treat you like a god! Wizzer is not that man.
Uh-oh... I have a feeling the ladies are going to be disappointed with my decision...
If I were in the dating game these days, I would have cancelled. The last time I dated (easily a few years ago) I was so damn annoyed at guys my age. I adopted the idea that you can't change an old dog new tricks. My motto was "on to the next one" in a HEARTBEAT. But, well, what the hell do I know...
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