Too Lazy for Love?

I've spent the last couple days debating whether or not to create some sort of official dating plan... like, going on one date a week, or specifying what days and times I actually read my online dating site emails. Wouldn't you know, I'm not the first to contemplate such a thing. AOL had a featured article about a woman who declared she would find a husband in one year... and she failed. Not exactly evidence supportive of my theory.

But as I sat here tonight, I realized what I really want to do is get my house back in order and figure out some kind of life management plan including finances, work, exercise (I'm trying to lose 12 pounds by March 29th), balance... balance balance! Adding a commitment of a minimum weekly date to the mix seems overwhelming! And, reading and responding to the emails. all the while scanning for signs of psychological instability, to get to that point, is, quite frankly, exhausting. I actually caught myself feeling stressed out when I was signed in.

Am I too lazy for love?

On a positive note, I did see a cute guy in real life at the grocery store last night. I did absolutely nothing about my secret inner fantasy of going on a date with HIM... a real person I met in real life in the real world; but it sure was nice just to have "a sighting." He appeared very bachelorish with his bag of dog food, gallon of milk, and little arm basket of items and I didn't readily recognize a ring on his finger. I work with all women in a big office building full of more women and a handful of married, middle-aged men so any evidence that single men exist at all is pretty exciting.

And if that's not enough, I did get messages from two guys I would give serious thought to going on a date with. Most of my email thus far is from guys that are nice, but not really ones that truly "match" with me. And what's up with the rampant vasectomies?! I never dreamed guys would give up the power of procreation. I mean I get that most men don't think poopy diapers and baby mama drama sounds like a good time, but the ability to plant seeds just seemed like the core of masculinity to me. Obviously, I am wrong about that too! Even though I'm truly not ready to be a mother, not having the option to do so isn't in line with my theoretical future plans. I'm really trying to put staying true to what I want above my stupid tendency to be more concerned with not hurting some one's feelings. Right now I'm at about a 65% compliance rate with that one.

So what is the answer? I might indeed be too lazy for love, but for now, I'm going to give myself a little break and acknowledge that life (with mom's cancer and all) has been a little chaotic of late. So if, if, I get a chance to clean up my house and catch up the laundry tomorrow... maybe I'll see about scheduling a date this weekend. Maybe...