"And Then The Elephant Started To Tip Over..."

After work today, I went on mission "Perfect Christmas." A week ago, I had decided treating myself to a little Christmas decoration splurge was well-warranted. The last couple years had been a struggle, I hadn't treated myself to much at all, Christmas lights bring me a sense of peace, and, well, mom's got cancer and I'd like this Christmas to be special. My last stop was Hobby Lobby. I was wheeling my bright blue, strangely small cart stuffed with a small tree, a large wreath, garland, and ceramic Cardinal ornaments down the gift bag aisle when I head a loud thud followed by the sound of glass breaking. Another loud thud. More glass. Thud. Glass. Glass-thud-glass-glass-thud-thud-thud-GLASS!!!

Obviously something very bad had happened. And, obviously, many many things had broken. I knew this without moving my feet, or my little blue cart, from my shock-imposed position in the holiday department. I was afraid to look! A long stretch of silence implied that it just might be safe to peer around the corner and a little giggle snuck out of me when I thought of how much it would suck to be the person that took out $400 dollars worth of red and green trinkets imported from China.

"Oh my God! Are you okay mam?!" a frantic voice called out.

Okay. I had to look. It was my duty as a human... just in case they needed me to stop the bleeding, or, administer CPR or something... Thankfully, the woman who was impersonating the bull in the China shop was uninjured; but the same could not be said of an entire "end cap" display full of glass items and some giant cement-like animals that seemed to have nothing to do with Christmas.

After seeing a half-dozen people had come to her aid, complete with the store manager frantically zooming towards her with a wheelchair, I thought it best to leave the scene of the accident and get the hell out of there. As I headed to the check-out, I overheard her explain what had caused the mass destruction:

"I really liked this dog and I went to pick it up but it was too heavy. Then, the elephant started to tip over and I tried to catch it. I lost my balance and fell back into the shelves..."

It seems those damn elephants are everywhere!

Over the weekend, my mother's sister was unexpectedly in town. I had just left Chester's and was en route to retrieve my Saturday cheeseburger when I got the call that she was here. I didn't know if she knew and I didn't feel it was my place to tell her that mom has cancer again... so there was the elephant; right there in my cell phone.

My brother, mother, aunt and I went to dinner together. We spent two hours engaging in nonsensical conversation, covering topics such as: freakishly large fish caught in fresh water, clowns with lots of pockets, and childhood memories of vomit. Oh, and the usual "how ya been"s and "what are your plans for Thanksgiving." The elephant had come to dinner with us.

After dinner, my mother and brother got out of the car and went inside. I stood with the car door open about to ask what time my cousin was getting out of work and I saw the reflection of the elephant in my aunt's eyes. How is it that such a cumbersome beast can be so blasted sneaky?

A last minute decision led to a short trip out of town to visit my cousin and see his not-so-new place I hadn't visited yet. The nonsensical conversation resumed as my aunt and I travelled down the highway. But when she pulled into the parking space, she didn't turn off the car. She started telling a story. No wait, she was repeating a conversation she had recently. The elephant. It was right there on the console.

She told me she knew. I asked her if my cousin knew. Then we went into his apartment. Shockingly, more nonsensical conversation transpired. The elephant was back and I was left wondering if the travelling circus could use another performer. My cousin flipped through television channels, my aunt showed pictures of her grandchildren...

I couldn't stand it anymore.

"I know you know. It's okay to talk about it."

"About what? The giant elephant in the room?!" He replied.